Inner RePatterning is a very gentle, learnable technique which can efficiently resolve issues like phobias, public speaking, and more complex whole – life issues such as generalised stress and anxiety.
Inner RePatterning works with the language of the mind, mainly feelings, internal talk and images. Each problem we experience starts in our minds – the things we say to ourselves and the limiting beliefs we voice that make us feel bad, and limit our joyful expression of life.
I’VE TRIED SO MANY WAYS & TECHNIQUES TO CHANGE – BUT NOTHING WORKS!
A great advantage Inner RePatterning has is that it draws out parts of you which may be blocking the positive change you want, and allows this to resolve, so the change can go ahead. For example, you be trying to lose weight and you find yourself not being able to stop eating to excess. Or, you may wish to rid yourself from anger at someone and not be able to let it go, and yet sincerely feel the anger is damaging you. Sometimes people have tried unsuccessfully to change for some time and found that “nothing I try works”. This is usually because a part of them is opposing the change and with Inner RePatterning you can get in touch with this, so you can deal with it, and attain the healing you desire.
What doesn’t work
To feel better, we tend to try to stop feeling, behaving and thinking in ways which limit us and just don’t make us happy. We may try to suppress how we feel, distract or sedate ourselves (alcohol to excess, drugs, overeating, smoking or even working too long and too hard). What we need to do is to get rid of these limitations by accepting how we experience the problem, without judgement or criticism. This way allows us to truly leave these problems behind; Inner RePatterning teaches you how to do this.
“I highly recommend Julie and the EFT / inner re-patterning technique she uses. Use of that technique eliminated anxiety, fear and anger that were work-related as well as resolving past family bereavement. This is a technique that she shows you how to use yourself if needed. Thank you!” FL, Commercial Analyst, Ealing
There is a specific trance state I teach clients which allows you to go beyond your conscious thoughts and explanations to the actual structure of the problem. You need to get to this level to observe it objectively and so trigger a gentle healing process. You may be quite surprised at what you connect with at this level in a session. There is no need to understand the structure of the problem – just observe the pieces of it in the calm trance state. I think of it like a faulty knitting pattern that leads you to the unwanted behaviour or feelings – one which needs to unravel bit by bit.
As most problems, this is a learned pattern. There are many ways in which we raise our anxiety and stress levels which do not help us in any way. Heightened anxiety blocks rational and constructive thinking. We need calm thinking to lead to a resolution of problems and to deal with life’s challenges effectively and constructively.
How do we creat anxiety?
Some people run imaginary scenarios complete with anxious feelings, of some future event going drastically wrong. For example, when someone fears public speaking, which is very common, they get themselves very tense, sometimes days before the event by imagining that they dry up, or their hands shake or they are asked questions on the spot they can’t answer etc. By the time they have to speak in public they are too stressed and tense to give a good performance. The next time they have a public speaking engagement, they will probably relive the past failure or failures, and actively imagine everything going wrong when they have to speak. This is self-hypnosis of a very negative form and it can be changed. These habit patterns are simply setting people up to fail.
Of course sometimes we do need to think about what could happen in the future, but in a calm explorative way. That way you don’t get caught out without an umbrella, or forget to take out insurance! Sometimes we need to go over a past event to learn from it in order to avoid the same mistakes in the future. It is only when these patterns become excessive and self punishing that we need to do something different.
Sometimes people are stressed because things are not turning out the way they want. For example a friend/partner is not doing what they want, their efforts are not being recognised at work, or the Internet is down (yet again!) etc. Then they keep comparing how they want things to be different with the unsatisfactory way they actually are – an obvious recipe for feeling bad! Again, the pattern needs to change so that you can resourcefully deal with whatever is or is not happening right now.
Most negative patterns of thinking and feeling stem from our ability to create vivid movies in our heads, with ourselves starring and feeling all the feelings. This ability can create stress and anxiety as explained above, but it can connect you with re-experiencing happy times, reactivating past forgotten skills and changing and healing the past. All this I teach.
Some people compulsively go over the past in their heads and blame themselves more and more for something they did or didn’t do at the time. The very fact that you now feel guilty shows that you have learned a lot since then, and it is unfair to judge yourself in the past by your present more useful standards. Just look back with compassion and presume you did the best you could at the time. Blaming yourself only blocks you learning from the event, and just makes you feel increasingly anxious and stressed without any resolution.
What is depression?
In simple terms, depression means feeling low for extended periods of time. There is a pattern to depression. Typically people are saying some very negative things to themselves in their heads – not noticing what is OK, and dwelling on what is wrong. Typically the things people say to themselves are overgeneralisations and illogical – e.g. if you make one mistake you might say “I’m a complete idiot” – one mistake doesn’t make an idiot. Another thinking error is that anything negative is permanent e.g “ I’ll never feel better”; another one is blaming e.g “It’s all my fault”. If you keep up this kind of internal dialogue your stress level will go up and you will feel your sense of wellbeing and self-worth will plummet. This pattern needs to change so you can be fully in the “here and now” and live life with awareness as it unfolds.
People who are depressed often suffer from insomnia.
In a typical night’s sleep you will have a period of dreaming and a period of slow wave restorative sleep. One of the functions of dreaming is to clear out the stress of the day, but it does not rest and restore the body. If you have been engaging in negative thinking for a lot of the day, you have to do a lot of dreaming to release that stress, and there is not enough time for the restorative sleep, so you wake up feeling tired and depressed. Then you might start thinking “I’m never going to feel better ……”!
How to deal with Depression
Simple exercise like walking does help lift depression for a short time. Isn’t it good to know that if you do something as simple as walking down to the shops that you can feel a bit better for a while? This is empowering, as when people are depressed they feel very lacking in any control over their lives and feelings. There are a lot of other simple changes in behaviour that can help. I mainly work with clients to change their negative internal dialogue so they can be more positive. I especially help people to resolve and heal any upsets from the past which are contributing to the depression. Often there is a negative event or series of events which start this upsetting state, e.g. the death of someone close, losing your job, getting divorced etc.
I really enjoy introducing people to Inner Re-Patterning, as in the course of the sessions, clients are so successful in making the changes they want. (Therapists really love helping their clients to make positive changes!) In the course of the sessions you are learning how to use the technique yourself, as it is a neutral framework to allow your negative pattern to be formatted and heal. Also, I am not imposing my ideas of what the thoughts that make up the negative pattern might mean or how they should be different – neither are you – and this objectivity and accepting of the material as it is, allows the pattern to dissolve. When you fight with and try to get rid of your bad feelings or forcefully try to alter your negative behaviour, you create resistance and disharmony in yourself and blocks any possibility of a resolution. We need to accept that whatever we do not like about ourselves are just negative patterns that we have learned. When these dissipate, like clouds vaporising, the sun of our happiness and self-fulfilment can shine through.
I work in West London, Ealing W13 which is convenient for Acton, Chiswick, Brentford, Hanwell, Greenford, Kew, Richmond, Southall, W5, W7. More about Julie de Burgh
I offer a 20 minute free consultation (by phone or face to face) to explain how I work – call me now 020 8997 7966 to find out more.